The Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

The misery of the One Day author…

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I was reminded of that on Tuesday, but this was the first time I’ve been able to get back on. Some of that has been pure procrastination, some of it was pure ire (I wrote a brilliant blog post and then my new system deleted it. My fault, but still annoying), and some of it was out of a need to decompress. Now, I’m back, I’m relaxed and I’m more certain than ever of what I want to do with my life.

 Now that may make it sound like I was waffling a bit over my chosen path and I can assure you, that I wasn’t considering leaving writing. I hadn’t even gone to the point of wondering if I could make a living out of it. Those, in my mind, were foregone conclusions. One day, I will be good enough and I will begin making a living off of it. The thing that was starting to halt me was the first part of that sentence.

 One Day

 It’s a tiny phrase to have caused the amount of damage it was. I had started thinking of One Day as being far away, too far for me to worry about. In the meantime, I certainly had other goals. I began a critique group (Called the best name ever… A Bitch of Writers), I started showing my work to others, I’ve been learning how to edit (Painstakingly slow, it seems), and I had to get ready for my trip to SIWC (Surrey International Writers Conference).

 The critique group has been so helpful. It’s really shown me the areas that I obviously need more work on. Mostly, these come down to description issues. I’m great at tension, but I have to really work to make any characters imaginable. Learning to edit has been really difficult, mainly because I realized that my teaching of this in school was not what I would consider adequate. As a student, my idea of editing was to write a rough draft, clear up a few of the spelling mistakes, and maybe a word choice before handing it in. Editing a novel, I’ve found, is just a wee bit more intense than that.

 It was the trip to Surrey that really changed me though. This year I took my writing (and ask me in person sometime about the “life-changing-field-trip-with-Zuko”) hoping for the same glee I received last year when CC Humphrey’s reviewed my work (Mr. Humphrey’s, if you ever find yourself reading this, ask me about my first chapter now! It’s awesome now that it’s written). Instead I found the classes containing a lot of the information that I learned last year and felt myself ahead of the game.

 Nervously so, of course. One Day doesn’t leave room for me to be suddenly understanding what the instructors are teaching. In fact, thinking myself ahead of the game felt downright wrong. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I handed Wendy Roberts my work this year was horrible. When she asked if this was my first book, my heart sank. Still, I continued on bravely, simply answering “Yes” instead of the Is it that obvious comment that I was thinking to myself.

 Imagine my shock when she told me that my work was much better than most first books she’s seen. She then asked me point blank if I was querying. I was stunned and when I said, no, she told me to get on with it. Ivan Coyote reinforced the knowledge later that day when I heard her tell a story about an old student of hers who wasn’t published and was terrified of being rejected. She had to tell her, “I know this is going to hurt, but you’re already not published.”

I decided that day that perhaps One Day had come. Still, I was stunned when I spoke with my Brian Hades (of Edge Publishing) for my pitch appointment, and he nodded, asking for a partial. Once again, it was reinforced at lunch, when I spoke with Donald Maass (Of Donald Maass Literary Agency) and he took my name and told me that he would tell one of his agents to keep an eye out for a partial from me.  Serendipity, Coincidence, Whatever you want to call it, I was hit with it this conference.

 It floored me when I realized just how much these two words, One Day, had been holding me back. Now, just as before, I know what I want to do but for the first time, I think I see a light at the end the of the tunnel. I need to finish crafting a synopsis and a query (any good suggestions for books on How To would be appreciated) and then I’ll begin the next stage of my journey. I think, I may finally be ready for that next step.

 What about you? What did you learn about yourself in the last year?

Posted in Blogs on October 28th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | 3 Comments »

Happy New Year!

Happy 2011!

That’s right, 2010 has passed and 2011 is here!  This year is going to be a good one, if only because I make it so.  I think today we need to talk about a few things… loosely connected with the new year.  First off, looking back.  How/Where have I improved in the past year, any truly intelligent lasting wisdom I’ve gained, that sort of stuff.  I feel that before I can truly make any lasting resolutions for the coming year, I first need to understand where I’ve been.  So, what has happened in the last year?

Well, on the topic of writing, I started up my website earlier this year.  In fact my first blog post was on May 29^th.  I defined myself as a Dark Fantasy Writer, which was a very large step for me.  While most of my writing is Dark Fantasy, I’m still working at understanding myself as a writer and I’m certainly not above trying my hand at other genres.  So I’ve learned that I am still finding myself as a writer and that it’s okay to still be settling into my place.

I’ve learned that while I may call myself a writer, I cannot do  it, unless I write.  A writer is someone who writes, payment or not.  This year, I have allowed too many excuses to stop me from writing.  My lesson from this?  That my most dangerous enemy to my dream of being a writer is me.  It’s a harsh lesson, to realize that you could be so much further ahead in your dream, if only you would stop fighting yourself at every turn.

I’ve learned that I am truly self conscious about my work.  Yes, I post short stories and chapters up on my site, but you should see the amount of editing I do to those.  I don’t even like my husband reading my work until I’ve done what I like to call a “First Edit” where I go through my work, edit and then let him read it.  Then I’ll do more editing as it comes up.  I need to get over some of my fear of showing my work to other people.  I’m always saying I have self confidence… Maybe I should start proving it.

I’ve learned that I really need help with editing.  As a child, I learned to edit as I write, correcting things as I go.  Usually, I would have a sheet of schoolwork, with 2 -3 words crossed out here, two sentences changed and otherwise my writing was the same.  Line editing is less of an issue for me, but editing for content is.  I have to learn more about editing and how to do it without destroying my work or my voice in the work.

I’ve learned that I enjoy the challenge of working with/against other people.  To clarify, the idea that I’m competing makes me push that little bit harder to make sure I write  every day and write more.  I also work very well with rewards that I can’t control.  The website 750 words for example.  I can’t cheat my way to 200 days on it… or rather I could, but I’d know that I had cheated and that out there, people were doing it without cheating.  So, I should be signing up for writing groups, so that I always have to have something to turn in.  There is something terrifying to me about the line “We’re not angry, we’re just disappointed” (Thank you, Ivan Coyote).  Don’t you agree?

I can be healthy even if it is really hard and that doing so actually helps me to feel better and more confident about myself.  I must admit, I still look at my weight for the real prize, but I am learning that being healthy is something different than denying myself anything I want.

So, now that I’ve looked at what I’ve learned, I need to discuss what I want to do to continue to grow this year.

1.      I know that if I want to call myself a writer then I must write.  So, I am setting myself a word goal this year.  750 words a day, except in November when 50,000 for the month is in effect.  The total comes out to 301,250 words.  I think I’m going to cut that down to 300,000 words for the year, because it makes for easier math.  However, it’s not just a yearly goal.  What is important is that I write every day, instead of just waiting for the weekends or for when I have “time” to do so.

2.      I know that I eventually want to be a published author.  So, my plan to help me achieve this goal is to finish my novel and start sending it out to publishers by the end of the year.  Which does mean that I need to start reading and writing on it again.  I will take 2-3 days and figure out where I was and where I was going and then I will move on to writing the story again.  My goal is to finish writing the story before the end of January, so that I can let it sit and then I can start doing general line edits in February.  After I have finished with just line edits, then I’ll take a look at content and ways to fix it.

3.      I need to stop being afraid to show people my work.  I will overcome that fear by posting shorter stories more often, even if they don’t actually connect to any of my other writing.  Expect a lot of 750 – 1000 word short stories on a variety of topics here folks, as well as my other writings.

4.      I want to lose weight, get into exercising more regularly and start eating healthier.  To do this, my husband and I have invested in a personal gym.  We now have an elliptical, an Olympic grade weight set, various free weights, a toning machine (think BowFlex type of machine).

5.      I will continue to network and try to meet other writers.  I will do this by continuing to attend writers conferences and making friends within the writing community.

6.      I will continue to improve on my craft of writing.  I will do this with my writing more often, by listening to podcasts like Writing Excuses, by attending writing conferences like SiWC and by taking some university courses on writing.

So, there you have it, my list of what I learned in 2010 and what I hope to learn and how I’ll learn it in 2011.  What do you think of my resolutions and even more importantly, what are yours?

Posted in Blogs on January 3rd, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | 2 Comments »

Only a seat at Table #7

My first conference ever and it turned out to be incredible.  I arrived a few days early and got to visit my Mom for a day and then I ran out to visit with a writerly friend of mine.  We sat in and chatted all night and even watched the craft.  She gave me a brilliant little rock light (I’ll see about including a picture in my next blog) and then the next day we headed out and went shopping.   Now, me and her are probably the only girls in the world who can go out shopping, and come home with the oddest things.  I came back with flavoured honeys, a mini cast-iron cauldron (I’ve always wanted some), a gorgeous card and an oracle deck.  Wonderful stuff, but definitely not your usual run of the mill shopping.

After I got to the conference the first thing I did was get my info for the weekend and then register for my hotel.  While waiting to register, I struck up a conversation with the woman in front of me.  She was attending the conference as well.  Nervous, I asked her if it was her first year.  I should have known better… she was a publisher of children’s books and a presenter.  It was all right though.  I made up for it by remembering to ask her what she was working on that excited her.  Really the weekend only went up from there.

The class on Thursday was next to useless though.  It was touted as a revision course, but it was actually just rewriting scenes.  Had I not paid extra for it, I would have left the class and taken a different one.  On the other hand, I met Samantha Herne, a great writer who also podcasts.  She was a really great gal and I loved talking with her.  Friday was great.  The courses were always good and Patrick Taylors course on “How not to write a successful series” was incredible.  Saturday was awesome as well, and I started getting my name out there.  The big incredible thing for me on Saturday was my “Blue Pencil” meeting… a chance to meet with CC Humpreys.  He took a look at my work, we chatted and he complimented my writing.  He said, “No, your work is quite good.  You’ve managed to make it all really creepy without actually saying anything creepy.  That’s how to do it if you’re going to.”  Let me tell you, I was so excited, I was practically bouncing.

At least until Saturday Dinner.  I found Samantha Herne at dinner that night and sat down at her table… only to realize that she also had two authors, an editor and an agent sharing the table.  The other girls at the table were more like me, in various stages of unpublishment (I think I’ve created a new word).  Regardless, they were all awesome, and great to talk to.  Table 7 rocks, does it not ladies?  I was going to go and see the forensics stuff after dinner, but I was invited up for cocktails by the girls… and when an agent and author ask you if you want to join them for cocktails, the universal answer is “Yes”.

Great evening, absolutely incredible.  The keynote speakers for Saturday were amazing (especially since I was sitting with both of them that evening as well)!  Sunday was great as well.  Ivan Coyote asked about “ways to motivate yourself to write” in her class and I suggested my favourite motivator, Nanowrimo.  The last 20 minutes of the class were taken up with talk about Nanowrimo (she takes part) and sharing awesome Nano-related stories.

At the final lunch, it was fun, but sorta sad.  We knew the fun was coming to an end soon.  Robert Dugoni sent us away on the right note though “Today, we WRITE!”  Should I ever get a copy of his speech, I will ask him if I can repost it here.  The best speech ever!  I wish I’d gotten a copy of it.  Also, I even won a prize!  A set of four books from Mira publishing and a reusable book bag followed me home in addition to the books I got there (Eeeek! I got Vlad the Impaler signed by CC Humpreys, who wished me luck on my book and the Skystone signed by Jack Whyte).  Definitely an incredible weekend.  I even got a potted plant from my Mom.  Gorgeous Red and Yellow flowers… I only hope I can keep it alive.

The trip was more than worth it and I really hope that I can make it out for next year.

Also, very quickly, I bought Geist today (a picture will go up next time), The High King of Montival,  and a copy of Warbreaker.  My husband bought me a Nano gift as well… an awesome 15 minute hourglass timer with black sand!  I got myself an awesome Moleskin journal as well… Dark blue with map lines on it.  Just the thing to get my mind thinking and ready to write!

Posted in Blogs on October 27th, 2010 by B.A. Matthews | | 6 Comments »

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