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Today, I was going to have a very intelligent on how the people we meet and see every day aren’t people to us. How they are “other” and therefore unimportant or scary until something is done to make them seem real. Everyone does this, to some degree. It’s that feeling when somebody says hello in the grocery line and you nod politely but then go back to looking at the magazines blankly until they ask you about that book you’re holding or something important to you. Regardless of how you get there, everyone experiences a moment when suddenly that other person matters to you as more than an inconvenience.
This is the moment when that girl or guy you were checking out surprises you and you ask them about something personal. That moment when the guy asking for your cash in front of the 7-11 uses $4 of his hard-earned money to buy his dog food and nothing for himself.
It’s a really interesting phenomenon and I would suggest everyone look into it and how it is affecting/informing your daily decisions.
However, that’s what I was going to talk about, not what I am going to talk about. That is due solely to my Asus Transformer. Since I bought it in October of last year, this singular piece of technology has become nearly indispensable to me.
Doing a bit of writing on the go? Take the tablet. Want to waste 5 minutes? Grab the tablet. Want to listen to some music? Grab the tablet. Want to do some reading? Grab the tablet. Want to quickly do some research on the go? Turn on the tablet. Want to do some GM’ing or even playing in a game? Grab the tablet instead of the dice.
I took my notes on it for critiques. For my writing group, Pen Duels, I would put the finished product up on it and read it from there. I could carry everything, including some videos and awesome pictures for when I needed something.
Then today, it broke.
At the end of my day at work, I turned off the device, packed it into my bag and headed out for my bus. After I got on, I took out the tablet and tried to turn it on. It literally won’t boot past the loading screen.
So I devoted a few hours to returning to sanity. I did some house cleaning. I looked into how to fix it. I attempted to fix it myself and failed miserably. Eventually, my husband helped me out by cuddling for a few minutes, got me a warm cover and my gigantic and awesome Android stuffed an animal to cuddle and feel more relaxed holding my comfort toy.
I’ve send a message to Asus about it and I’ll see what they say. If worse comes to worse, I have some money put away that I can decommission from vacation to tablet repair. In the meantime, please give me a moment in your thoughts and hope alongside me that I can get it repaired without dropping an arm and a leg to do so.
Posted in Blogs on April 18th, 2012 by B.A. Matthews | | No Comments »
Sometimes I have to talk about things that have no connection to my writing. Today is one of those days. So, if today is your first time here, I promise that if you come back next time, I’ll talk about writing again.
On Friday, I was reminded that I have pets at home. Not to say that I honestly forgot I had them. More to say that I was suddenly reminded that they are real creatures and that they need my love and attention as much as the people in my life do.
We can often forget while we’re writing that other people are around. To a point, we have a reason. We are spending so much time writing and dealing with those worlds that we start to take the love and affection that we receive in this world for granted.
To make it worse, when we do remember that we have to pay attention to our loved ones, we usually make time for our human companions first. We assume that our pets will be happy cuddling with us but when they try and demand actual time, we tend to get very fed up with them.
We can explain to our friends and family that we’re distracted but our pets really don’t. They understand that we’re distracted, but not why we’re distracted. They assume that like other humans, we’ll come back to them as soon as we’re done. But we’re never done, we’re never finished.
So today is just a very quick reminder that your pets are people to. Spend some time with them. Love them and do them a favour. Turn off your computer for at least two hours every week and play with them or devote it to nothing but paying attention to them. They deserve the same courtesy that we would give our human friends.
And here’s one last picture of my kitten, Minkers. I swear, despite what it looks like, he is NOT smoking weed in this picture. To this day I still don’t know what caused the optical illusion though. He didn’t have anything in his mouth when I took the picture.
This has been a service announcement from your friendly neighborhood animal activist. We will now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
Posted in Blogs on April 15th, 2012 by B.A. Matthews | | No Comments »
I am almost back on the horse. It’s been a long month healing and I know I haven’t been posting as many of these blogs as I normally do. My hands are still hurting (yes, both) but they are getting better. A lot of it is the small issues of getting my strength in them back up. That will probably take another month before they are fully up to snuff.
In the meantime, I’ve had ample time to read and think. I can now say that one of the worst things in the world is to have a preponderance of time to do something and to be unable to do it. It leaves your mind working in ways that just aren’t healthy. At least in hindsight.
My mind has been turning on the relatively simple task of interactions. I am usually a very calm woman. One of those that don’t often get mad and when I do it’s a hot, vivid, furnace of an anger. This means that when I get angry to that point, I am a violent bitch, but on the up side it means that my anger doesn’t usually last longer than a few moments.
As soon as that burst of frustration is over, its like a cloud passing on a sunny day, the sun comes back out and the world lights up again. The anger doesn’t stay around, doesn’t linger.
This month, it has been lingering.
I hadn’t realized that my writing had become like a drug to my system; that I needed it simply to keep my mood in a steady pace. This has left me with two main bits of trivia that I’ve learned during this month. One, that without my writing I am a bitch. Two that I don’t think I am not a good spouse.
The first is slowly working its way out of my system… or back into my system, if we’re taking the writing is a drug comparison. As I am able to write and work on my novels and stories again, I relax and calm down. My temper evens out and I will go back to being very difficult to perturb.
Number two on the other hand isn’t something that I can fix that easily. I feel that I am a bad spouse because I am a selfish writer. I don’t listen as well as I used to and my mind tends to get stuck on writing prompts and my books. My husband has requested that I add in here that he disagrees and that I’m a good spouse, even when I’m in this sort of a mode.
What do you think? Does being a selfish writer make you a bad spouse? Do the two not have anything to do with each other? Is there such a thing as a selfish writer? Let me know your thoughts below.
Posted in Blogs on March 25th, 2012 by B.A. Matthews | | No Comments »
For those who were waiting for an update yesterday, I offer my apologies. I had thought that I would be not only home prior to midnight, but that I would also be conscious enough to write a blog post at that time. As you can tell, from my lack of a post yesterday, neither proved true.
So what was I doing all yesterday, you may ask? It’s a good question. Yesterday was Calgary’s longest write-in that happens every year… The Twelve Hour. From 1 pm – 1 am the Calgary writers get together and do a little bit of socializing, a little bit of eating and a lot of writing and word wars.
So, I went there, arriving just prior to the ML’s at 12:45pm. Me, Epic Robot Danni, Tim of the Awesome and a few others set up shop, taking over the back room of a restaurant. We talked, we socialized, we cavorted. And, of course, we wrote. Some lucky people even got a chance to hit their 50k goal during the write in and ring the large bell that the ML’s bought to let everyone know that somebody has won (and if you are like me and wonder what the heck ringing a bell would do to make you feel better about completing such an epic thing, I suggest getting together 10-15 people and that you buy a bell. When one of you makes your word count, go and ring it. Tell me if you don’t smile… Trust me, you will).
Anyways, to make a long story short, I was also one of the lucky ones to ring the bell last night. I won near 10 pm crossing it during a word war in which I reached 50,368 words. I won, I rang the bell and I then proceeded to smile, pack up my stuff and return home. I must admit that when I got home, I didn’t open my laptop. This morning I opened my computer, but I didn’t do any writing on it. It has now been 24 hrs since I last wrote a word on my novel.
And you know what?
I’m fine with that. It’s the end of Nanowrimo, I’m getting quite tired and my squishy-brains are starting to feel like a permanent addition. And tomorrow, I’m going to get back on the horse and write another 2,000 words. Why?
Because I’m a writer. And that means that I write. Perhaps not every day, but I try to do a little each day and so should you.
Don’t keep to an unreasonable goal in non-Nanowrimo times. Taking a day off here and there is fine. Also, I promise that once December rolls around I’m going to lowering my word count goal down to 500 words/day. I know that I’m not the sort of writer who can do that 2k every day (especially while working a full time job as well).
I am a writer, not because I sell books, not because I meet and beat an arbitrary word count goal and not because other people say that I am.
We are writers because we WRITE; Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Posted in Blogs on November 28th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
Today, I had a topic prepared and then the unthinkable happened. I found out that today we lost a great writer.
Anne McCaffery, at the age of 85, died earlier today of a stroke. She was a truly great writer, putting out dozens of books and short stories that connected with her audience on so many levels. I won’t say that all of these were the best novels I’ve ever read, but I will say that she was one of the first authors I read whose work truly pulled me into the work.
When I discovered audio books at my local library (on cassette tape, no less), it was Moreta, DragonLady of Pern that I borrowed, listening to the novel avidly when I was supposed to be sleeping.
It was her short story, Velvet Fields that opened my eyes to the not oft talked about “tragedy” in writing. It was the first story I’d read besides Hans Christian Anderson (yes, I’ve read those too) that didn’t end in a “happily ever after” sort of way.
Her books, the Rowan and Damia took me in to a world of psychic powers that made me wish I could be the main characters, living their lives, a new experience for me.
Her books, whether you counted them as Science Fiction or Fantasy, touched her readers, reaching a large percentage of an entire generation of young women who grew up dreaming of dragons, psychics, spaceships and alien cats. Her readers went on to more fiction, but her strong female characters provided a needed foothold in the sheer cliff that was the male dominated world. Without that handhold, we never could have carved out the spot on the cliff we now hold.
Honestly, I feel that the world is a sadder place without her in it. Today, I am dedicating my writing time to her, to the woman who taught me to think outside the box, to stay strong even in the face of adversity and to tell off any man who thought that he could control me simply based on my gender.
Please, share your stories of this incredible woman in the comments below. I would love to hear what you think of this extraordinary woman’s work, good or bad, or perhaps what your favourite books/stories of hers are?
Posted in Blogs on November 23rd, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
Also known as, The Bittersweet Goodbye.
Ah, the Twentieth of November. It’s sort of an important day. In just ten more days, Nanowrimo will be over, done and gone. While I will admit that I look forward to sleep schedules, dreams that don’t involve writing and being able to finish sentences without the use of an aid, I will miss not being in the crazy event of Nanowrimo anymore. To me, Nanowrimo means a time when I can let my house chores, my non-writing life and even to a certain extent, how much I care about my day job go. All I have to concentrate on for an entire month is writing.
So many other people are writing as well, that its truly inspiring and make me want to write much more. Unfortunately, because I still have to work a day job I can’t. It would be easy to simply ignore the day job completely, but since I still need that job to be there in December I have to keep caring about being able to work for it. As is this month, even though I’ve only written 32,168 words in my manuscript (plus let’s say another 10k for blog posts), my tendinitis is just starting to flare again. It’s still manageable right now, but I know that I’m going to regret it if I let it get worse before December.
Still, I wouldn’t trade my Nanowrimo for anything. And it will always be a bittersweet good bye when it goes. Squishy brains and being unable to speak coherently aside, I prefer being able to do what I need to for a month… which is writing. It’s my calling and if you can make it yours, you’ll love yourself for it too, no matter what the cost.
If you forget this month, and especially in this last ten days, why you love Nanowrimo, Remember these two phrases. They are almost mantras to me at this point, calming and reaffirming me in my goals, almost more than any other phrase does.
The first is “This Day, WE WRITE!” (Attributed to Robert Dugoni) and the second is “Write to your Joy.” (Attributed to Alastair Stephens and Lani Diane Rich).
Say these whenever you start questioning yourself and then sit back down and do what you were put here to do… Write.
Posted in Blogs on November 20th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
We are getting up there in days now. Nano is over half over and it is occurring to everybody worldwide that soon we will have to return to our normal, everyday, non-noveling lives. If you’ve been following me at all, you know that’s not my goal. I want to be a writer. Full time, staying at home, interacting with craft and creating novels. It’s a tough dream, but I’ll get there one day.
I’m not quite caught up yet. My current word total is 27,121. Like I said, a bit behind but nothing to be worried about yet… I would be working on my word count now, but I suddenly realized this blog needed to go up.
This has been an eye-opening month for me. I’ve learned so much about myself, even if I won’t be able to make full sense of it until December comes around and my Squishy Brains are back to normal. I can’t wait to share all of it with you.
In the meantime, keep writing. If writing isn’t what makes you want to get up and dance though, find out what that love is. There is something in all of us that we are called to do. Find that job and I while I can’t promise that you’ll never have to work, I can promise that you’ll be happier than you will doing anything else.
Posted in Blogs on November 18th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
Okay, I have a bit of a confession to make. The flu/cold has finally caught up to me. I have a mildly sore throat, My nose feels permanently stuffed up and my head feels as though it has been wrapped in cotton. On the other hand, these symptoms are less than they were yesterday or the day before that, so hopefully I’m on the mend. The worst part about getting sick is that on the little sleep I’m getting it makes me feel like I have literally not slept, no matter how good it is. It hasn’t been great for my word count either, which is why I’m only at 624 words for today, though I’m going to write up a few more before night’s end and hopefully hit 26k.
Yesterday was the 15th which meant that we all got to party. Our region had a midway bash and it was pretty fun. Not much Nano-stuff happened there (we were all asked not to bring our laptops) except for the meet and greet, but the food was good and it was great seeing everybody. I sat with my friend, Danni, who is also challenging herself at Nanowrimo (among others). Or perhaps I should say, she is challenging herself with a Nanowrimo type-challenge during the month of November. Like myself, she’s a bit of a rebel. The differences in how we rebel are interesting though.
As you know, I am challenging myself to write 50k of fiction this month. Most of that has been re-writes in my finished novel (the ending requires more editing, but the beginning required more rewrites) and I’m loving it. She on the other hand, rebelled by setting her goal as 200,000 words. When she was challenged, she immediately raised it to 300k. Seriously, if you’re not following her, go and check her out. She finished Nanowrimo’s challenge and got to declare her win of 50k… On the 5th of November. (Unbelievable, Yes, but it is awesome.)
Why am I mentioning this? Well, yesterday while at the midway bash, it occurred to me that everyone was feeling the week 2 blues disappearing. The clear skies of week three are looming wide on the horizon, even if they aren’t quite here yet. The interesting part was that everyone felt this way, including people like Danni who are already on their second novel and pulling up to 150k for the month.
I don’t know if its the general feelings on the forums or a world wide emotional wave, but most of us follow that Nanowrimo weekly emotional rollercoaster to a ‘T’ whether we’ve written 2,500 words or 25,000 words or 250,000 words. It really helps all of us to feel closer come November and its wonderful to kno wthat some great friendships will be forged during those final days incredible pushes at the end of the month.
So today’s is this. Keep going. Know that there are hundreds of thousands of us standing behind you, beside you and waving from the finish line cheering you on to win.
Posted in Blogs on November 15th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
Once a year, it comes around. Rearing its head from previously calm waters, it is suddenly upon you, eating your motivation, intention and willpower. Yep, some of you know what I’m talking about. Drama. But not just any Drama. No, this is a very specific kind. Yep, I’m talking about the Drama Monster that you never expect.
Nano-Drama.
Yes, this is a thing. This wild beast only raises its ugly head when lots of writers get together and proceed to get hoped up on Caffeine, hope and endorphins.
It happens when you say a careless word or try to help and get bashed down. It happens when somebody else feels that they are excluded from something and have to make a big deal of it. It happens when you refuse to say anything about issues you’re having because you don’t want to create Drama and then somebody else does it anyway.
It’s annoying because there is no good answer and (if both parties are adult about it) they know that.
On the other hand, adults solve this by deciding (as Jack Sparrow put it), “What a (wo)man can do and what a (wo)man can’t.”
If I am willing to put up with issues, then in my mind, the problem was not large enough for me to be complaining about. If it is big enough that I must eventually start speaking up then I can decide if that problem is big enough for me to stay or leave. So, how do I decide if I need to fight for my rights or how do I decide that my rights are less important than the groups? Each answer is different and no two will ever be the same.
Whether its somebody saying you’ve lied about your total, somebody bashing you or your words or perhaps even you making the eternal tired mistake of opening your mouth when you shouldn’t have, the advice is the same.
Pull up your Big-Girl Panties and get on with your life. The entire world doesn’t need to change to suit you but neither do you need to change to suit the world.
Decide what you can do and what you can’t. That will tell you everything you need to know.
P.S. – Also, remember that the only person who can let Drama stop you from writing is yourself. So keep writing… even if it is the last thing you want to do. This month, your novel is your refuge. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Posted in Blogs on November 11th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
Today I managed to reach 1,826 words which brings my total up to 13,763. It was a hard day I won’t argue, especially since I work full-time job as well. While I was sitting at the local Nanowrimo meet up, I was very surprised to have one of our ML’s come up to me and said that she shocked as to how we can do it. I didn’t realize this before, but this is her first year participating in Nanowrimo where she actually has a full-time job. It got me thinking about how much I actually put into my writing each year.
Before this year, my writing took a backseat to almost everything else. It was something I would do whenever I had free time. This year though, I have really been trying to improve and of course to finish my first draft. This year it actually felt much more like a second full-time job that it felt like hobby. A lot of it has been how I’ve been considering it. My thought was that it was paying me for it that I could be excused for taking the time that I thought I needed this.
I realized earlier this year that this was not the case. I needed to spend more time on it if I truly want to make it a viable option. Honestly this last year has taught me a lot about my writing. Perhaps even more importantly, it is taught me an awful lot about myself.
The first is that if my tendinitis isn’t hurting when I start writing than it takes an awful lot of writing before it will start. Conversely, writing at my daily job is a lot more painful. A year ago I thought writing was writing but I now realize that there is something different with the way I type at work then the way I type at home. I don’t know exactly what the difference is but I do know what it means for me. It means that I really need to get out my job.
My husband has made me the glorious offer that I can make half of what I normally do over a two-year period as an advance for writing that I can quit my job. But I’m wondering if I might not be able to get out of it sooner. Depending on how much I get when I do begin selling my writing, I may be able to start doing my job part time. I don’t know if it would be viable or not but I think if I want to help my hands to heal then I need to start looking at these options.
I don’t know what, if any, changes this will mean for me next year, but I do know that it will be very interesting to find out.
Posted in Blogs on November 9th, 2011 by B.A. Matthews | | Comments Off
