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    Posts Tagged ‘Tendinitis’

    Post 110 – I has the self-loathing… Would you like to see it?

    Posted on Sunday, March 25th, 2012

    I am almost back on the horse. It’s been a long month healing and I know I haven’t been posting as many of these blogs as I normally do. My hands are still hurting (yes, both) but they are getting better. A lot of it is the small issues of getting my strength in them back up. That will probably take another month before they are fully up to snuff.

     In the meantime, I’ve had ample time to read and think. I can now say that one of the worst things in the world is to have a preponderance of time to do something and to be unable to do it. It leaves your mind working in ways that just aren’t healthy. At least in hindsight.

     My mind has been turning on the relatively simple task of interactions. I am usually a very calm woman. One of those that don’t often get mad and when I do it’s a hot, vivid, furnace of an anger. This means that when I get angry to that point, I am a violent bitch, but on the up side it means that my anger doesn’t usually last longer than a few moments.

    As soon as that burst of frustration is over, its like a cloud passing on a sunny day, the sun comes back out and the world lights up again. The anger doesn’t stay around, doesn’t linger.

     This month, it has been lingering.

     I hadn’t realized that my writing had become like a drug to my system; that I needed it simply to keep my mood in a steady pace. This has left me with two main bits of trivia that I’ve learned during this month. One, that without my writing I am a bitch. Two that I don’t think I am not a good spouse.

     The first is slowly working its way out of my system… or back into my system, if we’re taking the writing is a drug comparison. As I am able to write and work on my novels and stories again, I relax and calm down. My temper evens out and I will go back to being very difficult to perturb.

     Number two on the other hand isn’t something that I can fix that easily. I feel that I am a bad spouse because I am a selfish writer. I don’t listen as well as I used to and my mind tends to get stuck on writing prompts and my books. My husband has requested that I add in here that he disagrees and that I’m a good spouse, even when I’m in this sort of a mode.

     What do you think? Does being a selfish writer make you a bad spouse? Do the two not have anything to do with each other? Is there such a thing as a selfish writer? Let me know your thoughts below.

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    Differences in Reading

    Posted on Sunday, March 18th, 2012

    Note: I haven’t heard anything back from my submission yet, which doesn’t surprise me, since their “due” date hasn’t even been reached yet. So, perhaps those of you who have queried more than I can tell me why I am already checking my email with a half desperate air? I’m generally known for my patience…

    First update, I’m still in pain. It’s annoying but its only my own fault for not resting it as much as it needs. My hands appear to need a full day to get over pain when I finish working and more days to rest to make sure that the pain doesn’t come back. Even now, after typing just a paragraph, I can feel a little bit of pain in my fingers. On the other hand, I do know that it is getting better. It’s very slow, but at least I’m getting back to health slowly.

     So, what have I been doing since typing on a computer has been out of my list of activities. Well, I’ve been getting back to my roots and doing quite a bit of reading. In the last two weeks I’ve read 4-5 books and started another 3. Why so many books on the go, you may ask? Well, I used to read one book until I’d finished it but since I can do nothing but read I’m reading for different reasons.

     The first book that I’m reading is Shalador’s Lady by Anne Bishop. This book I’m reading for the pure fun of it. Her writing is fast paced, fun to read and I love the Dark Jewels World. The ideas Anne Bishop delves into – rape, love, pain, darkness within the heart, the power and place of men and women in society – these are the things that I love to read about, even as parts of the plot sicken me. Personally, I hope that my writing can one day be compared favourably with her writing. Her books are definitely something that I aspire to write like.

     The second book I’m reading right now is Dance of Dragons by George RR Martin. I read his books more because I enjoy long term story-telling that holds nothing back and threatens everything, than because I find his ASOIAF books fun reads. Personally, I find them a slog to get through and the writing can drive me insane with the repetition in characters occasionally (as an example, I really only need to hear about Tyrion shaking off his d*ck once in any given chapter). Still, the story is entertaining and I love the nothing-is-safe feeling (and because I actually love Daenerys… She is my favourite character right beside Arya).

     The third book I’m reading is a very interesting one called The Fox and the Jewel by Karen A. Smyers. This book is one of the best books on contemporary Japanese Inari worship that I’ve found. This book is not only very interesting on a subject that I find infinitely interesting to research but it will help me to make the Kitsune in my book seem much more real.

     That’s it for today, except for a small update. I was trying to hold off, but I’m moving this blog to a once weekly upload until I get my tendonitis under control again. In the meantime, I’d love to hear what you’re reading right now and why you’re reading it!

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    Year of Epic Query… Target Acquired

    Posted on Sunday, March 11th, 2012

    Every once in a while, the stars align in ways most foul and I will simultaneously have a bad week at work at the same time as having my moods shift. Usually, I can stop this before it becomes truly incompatible with my normally good humor. Unfortunately, I usually get rid of the truly bad mood and forestall its dire effects by writing. Which is why the last two weeks have been some of the worst in a year or so; at least as far as unchangeable moods are concerned. Today I finally realized that writing is my drug. It makes me happy when I’m down, it relaxes me when I’m stressed and it makes me smile and want to slow down when I feel rushed.

     Which should explain my twitter feed for the last two weeks…

     I haven’t been able to write anything fiction-wise in the last two weeks.. Reading helps but not enough. Which means that today I was in full b*tch mode. On the other hand, today I’m actually writing this blog post with via typing instead of speaking it via Dragon, so I am healing… just not fast enough for me to be satisfied. Well, hopefully this means that come Wednesday I’ll be healed enough to do some actual work! I’ll keep you updated.

     In other, much more exciting, much less whiny news, yesterday I sent in my first query. It’s for a short story I wrote about a girl who discovers she’s a changling. It got some really good reviews from my critique group and other friends I’d shown it to, so I figured I may as well see what I could do with it.

     It’s been sent into the Ron L. Hubbard Writers of the Future contest which offers publishing in their yearly anthology for the winners.

     Honestly, I don’t know how far I’ll get but I figure the worst that happens is that they say no and decide it’s not good enough to publish. If they don’t accept it, I plan to take any comments I get back on it and work on another edit before sending it in to Apex Magazine.

     This story is good and I think that I need to get over that terror of querying eventually. Or perhaps you eventually get over the terror but the fear of rejection stays with you forever.

     Any published authors out there wish to throw in their two cents?

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    The mind is strong…

    Posted on Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

    But the flesh is oh so weak!

    Today is one of those days that almost makes me wish I wasn’t a writer. Not because of any of the usual reasons though. Today, my issue is much more physical. My tendinitis is flaring in a bad way right now.

     The weather here in Calgary is never static to begin with but it is vastly worse during the spring and autumn months. Unfortunately, the chaotic weather brings with it vast changes in temperature. We can go from -15 Celcius temperature’s at night to 10 Celcius or higher temperatures during the day. The change in temperature makes my tendinitis kill though. It shoots tiny blades of pain though my arm, weakening it; especially if I can’t rest it thoroughly either.

     Which brings me to today’s problem in a nutshell. I want to write, its in my blood to write… but I can’t when I’m in pain and unable to hold up a book without wincing.

     On the other hand, it does give me plenty of time of read, even if I can’t write at the moment. I’m on my 5th book since Wednesday!

     My hand is starting to hurt though, so I’m going to cut this short and wish you all good reading or writing; whichever is in the cards for you right now!

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    Happy Holidays!

    Posted on Sunday, December 18th, 2011

    Happy Holidays! This is my favourite time of year. Not only is my birthday in 4 days’ time but Solstice is also in 4 days’ time. This year will be particularly fun. I’m going to have dinner with friends and then we’re going to watch the first and second movies of Underworld, in preparation of seeing the third in January when it comes out.

     I’ve also been cleaning my house (a little), preparing for Solstice, buying gifts for both Solstice and X-mas (I buy the gifts for what people celebrate, whether I follow the religion or not) and reading quite a bit more than I’ve been able to lately.

     I have even managed to get in some writing work, though not too much since work was killing my hand this week.  I did manage to finish my critiques for tomorrow… the last critique of the year.

     Speaking of  the last of anything of the year, I must admit that I always approach this time of year with just a hint of sadness. It is a case of out with the old and in with the new, but I feel like I’ve wasted chances and opportunities this year. The main one that is eating me up inside is the query letter.

     I must admit that writing a synopsis and query have really been taxing my skills. It takes a completely different type of skill to write either of those and make them sound good.

     That’s all I have to say for today though. What have you been working on since Nanowrimo ended? Also, what do you celebrate this time of year? Just as importantly, tell me how you celebrate.

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    It’s always hard…

    Posted on Sunday, December 11th, 2011

    …to get moving again in December. 

    Or at least, it seems that way every year to me. In prior years, I have ignored my writing, well into January in most cases. This year, I haven’t gotten a change to do much writing since Nanowrimo and, of course, this is the unofficial busy season at work (until late January when it dies). As much as I would like to discount my job as an issue, I can’t quite yet. I have gotten some editing done but little to nothing done on my query submission yet. I do have a short ½ chapter ready for submission and I’m going to see if I can do more editing tomorrow without compromising my hand further.

     If I may be blunt, I am starting to worry about my hand more. I’m starting to think that it may be something a bit more serious than I’ve been considering it. I’ll be arranging a trip to the doctors to see if a specialist may be needed. It looks as though I may now have scar tissue up to my elbow if the areas of pain when my husband massages my arm are any indication.  At any rate, I’m going to try to not get too worried until we see what the doctor says. All in all though, this means that I’ll be getting a bit more reading done this season than I was originally hoping to. My to-read list will thank me if nothing else does.

    What have you been doing this December? Writing, editing or are you not paying any attention to writing at all?

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    Life After Nanowrimo

    Posted on Thursday, December 8th, 2011

    Today is going to be the third or forth day in a row that I haven’t written, mainly because my hands have been killing me.  Work has been really busy since the end of Nanowrimo and finishing, as always, has left my hand hurting. However, this doesn’t mean that I haven’t been doing writing work. I’ve had a meeting with my fellow A Bitch of Writers members, met up with new members and have worked a bit, starting a new scene in my Dual Melodies story. Since my Dual Melodies story seems to have evolved from one story into two, I have decided to write the original story of Dual Melodies, still posting it here.

     It’ll be a little bit slow for me to get up stuff since I will be working on a few other stories as well, but I promise I will be posting them.

     I am really excited about starting my editing again though. Our first critique needs to be turned in on Monday night. I can’t wait!

     How have you been since Nanowrimo? Have you finished any writing in the last few days?

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    TGIO

    Posted on Sunday, December 4th, 2011

    It only took 4 days for the Nano-Squishy brains to recede; at least, enough to me to write a blog post. While I must admit I’m thankful that it’s over, I also have to admit that I’m already missing it. It’s really nice to stay within the house and know that all I have to do is write. My hand doesn’t hurt as much when I’m spending all my time writing, as strange as that may sound. It’s the monotonous typing at work that is the worst for it. 

     Now of course, it’s December and I have to split my time between family, commitments, shopping, work, writing and editing. Fortunately, as much as that all sounds like work, a lot of it is stuff I enjoy doing. Which is really what December is all about for me.  We’re starting our critique group up again on Monday evening, I still have a query to send in, and a book to edit along with everything else. Fortunately, I love the idea of doing that work.

     Yesterday was our city’s TGIO party. And, I must admit that of all the TGIO’s I’ve attended this one has been my favourite. Not only because I had great people to sit with or even because I won a brilliant prize of a hat with kitsune ears and a scarf that had a chainsaw on it;  No, it was awesome because we had a visitor from Toronto join us.

     He had apparently missed his own TGIO party and decided to join ours. It’s awesome and we encourage such. We are always willing to have other Nano’ers join us.  In particular, I was ecstatic because though I’ve never met our guest, I’ve been a bit fan of his for years.

     Our guest was Errol, of Nano-video fame. You may remember, I had a video of his that I put up for the last day of Nanowrimo.

     Here’s a picture of us together, along with my awesome new hat and scarf that was donated by Paper Street Cosplay.  Kitsune ears are my favourite.

     What are you doing this December? Still writing?

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    Nanowrimo, I Sleep Now

    Posted on Thursday, December 1st, 2011

    Today is November 30. A sad day for all of us Nano-ers. Today marks the end of Nanowrimo. Collectively, Wrimo’s worldwide have written over 3 billion words this year. That’s not even counting the words written by the YWP writers.

    Though I finished my 50k last Saturday, I kept writing and managed to finish all of the rewrites for my novel. Now to finish the query and synopsis, so that I can send that out in a day or so.

    My final word count through Squishy-Brain and Tendinitis was 55,698 words. I’ll say I’ve done my fair share this Nanowrimo.

    I’m going to leave full updates for when I’m not desperately exhausted anymore but I will say that I will be posting more in months to come. I’m going to try again for a twice weekly schedule but the posts will likely be shorter… closer to the 500+ words instead of the 1000+ words I used to try for.  I don’t know exactly what days I’ll be trying to post those up for but right now, I’m thinking Wednesday’s and Sunday’s.

    I will keep you guys up to date on my query and where it is, of course, and I will start trying to post shorter writings again on a bi-monthly basis, though I’m not sure exactly where that will fit in.

    To end off the month, watch this video from my favourite Nano who does YouTube stuff, Errol!

     

    This… to a point, is exactly how I feel right now.

    Good night and Congratulations to everyone who did this Crazy event with us, whether you wrote 100k or 1k!

    Also this… (And if you haven’t seen the “Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” shame on you. Go watch it.)

     

     

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    Nanowrimo, Day Twenty – The Pep Talk

    Posted on Sunday, November 20th, 2011

    Also known as, The Bittersweet Goodbye.

    Ah, the Twentieth of November. It’s sort of an important day. In just ten more days, Nanowrimo will be over, done and gone. While I will admit that I look forward to sleep schedules, dreams that don’t involve writing and being able to finish sentences without the use of an aid, I will miss not being in the crazy event of Nanowrimo anymore. To me, Nanowrimo means a time when I can let my house chores, my non-writing life and even to a certain extent, how much I care about my day job go. All I have to concentrate on for an entire month is writing.

     So many other people are writing as well, that its truly inspiring and make me want to write much more. Unfortunately, because I still have to work a day job I can’t. It would be easy to simply ignore the day job completely, but since I still need that job to be there in December I have to keep caring about being able to work for it. As is this month, even though I’ve only written 32,168 words in my manuscript (plus let’s say another 10k for blog posts), my tendinitis is just starting to flare again. It’s still manageable right now, but I know that I’m going to regret it if I let it get worse before December.

     Still, I wouldn’t trade my Nanowrimo for anything. And it will always be a bittersweet good bye when it goes. Squishy brains and being unable to speak coherently aside, I prefer being able to do what I need to for a month… which is writing. It’s my calling and  if you can make it yours, you’ll love yourself for it too, no matter what the cost.

     If you forget this month, and especially in this last ten days, why you love Nanowrimo, Remember these two phrases. They are almost mantras to me at this point, calming and reaffirming me in my goals, almost more than any other phrase does.

     The first is “This Day, WE WRITE!” (Attributed to Robert Dugoni) and the second is “Write to your Joy.” (Attributed to Alastair Stephens and Lani Diane Rich).

     Say these whenever you start questioning yourself and then sit back down and do what you were put here to do… Write.

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